We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize