Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
