btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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