i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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