Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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