Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
