when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
