I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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