who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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