Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
