I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
