when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
