It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
