And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize