he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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