Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
