Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
