in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
