i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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