He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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