ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
