Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
