Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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