Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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