yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
