I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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