guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I believe in your delicious
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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