Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize