Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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