I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what day is it and did you see me today?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
