you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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