Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
