we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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