I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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