Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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