My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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