What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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