so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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