Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's even glitter on my cock...
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