Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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