And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just cropdusted the office
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
