Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
