Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
