I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
