just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
