The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
