It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
