I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize