I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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