She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
