I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
