Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you win again, gameday.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
