how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
