She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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