People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
