So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize