I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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