I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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