I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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