YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
