What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
