I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
