I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize