WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I touched a dick in church today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
