Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
