the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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