I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The uberlube is also flammable
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
