dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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