I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
