the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
